iRobot
Member of DD Central
Posts: 1,680
Likes: 2,477
|
Jokes
Apr 2, 2020 13:46:25 GMT
Post by iRobot on Apr 2, 2020 13:46:25 GMT
Chuck Norris has caught Corona Virus. the Corona Virus is expected to eventually recover. Wow! Someone's blown 20-years worth of dust off the "Chuck Norris ... " joke format! Kudos ... 
|
|
keitha
Member of DD Central
2024, hopefully the year I get out of P2P
Posts: 4,587
Likes: 2,622
|
Jokes
Apr 2, 2020 13:49:12 GMT
Post by keitha on Apr 2, 2020 13:49:12 GMT
Chuck Norris has caught Corona Virus. the Corona Virus is expected to eventually recover. Wow! Someone's blown 20-years worth of dust off the "Chuck Norris ... " joke format! Kudos ... yes but it's making people laugh we all need that !
|
|
|
|
Post by stan88 on Apr 3, 2020 13:24:29 GMT
Funny cartoon in one of the papers today (won't put it in, in case of copyright issue). It has a seated scientist looking down a microscope and saying "At last I've found it ….the economy!".
|
|
jo
Member of DD Central
dead
Posts: 741 
Likes: 498
|
Jokes
Apr 3, 2020 13:37:54 GMT
Post by jo on Apr 3, 2020 13:37:54 GMT
Is there a tax I can pay to stop covid 19 - or does that only work for climate change? (Runs  ). |
|
m2btj
Member of DD Central
Posts: 631
Likes: 772
|
Post by m2btj on Apr 6, 2020 15:37:31 GMT
|
|
jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
|
Post by jonno on Apr 8, 2020 11:01:38 GMT
I've just rung up Carlo Ancellotti and congratulated him on Everton's longest unbeaten run for 30 years.  |
|
|
|
Post by stan88 on Apr 11, 2020 12:35:20 GMT
Boris Johnson is feeling much better today he has been doing sudoku puzzles and watching Lord of the rings. He was last seen wandering the ward waving a toilet roll saying "This is mine my precious!".
|
|
jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
|
Post by jonno on Apr 16, 2020 10:00:19 GMT
There will be a minor baby boom in around nine months, and then one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of THE QUARANTEENS!!
|
|
|
|
Jokes
Apr 21, 2020 21:25:14 GMT
Post by martin44 on Apr 21, 2020 21:25:14 GMT
Boris Johnson is feeling much better today he has been doing sudoku puzzles and watching Lord of the rings. He was last seen wandering the ward waving a toilet roll saying "This is mine my precious!". Quality ..
|
|
|
|
Post by martin44 on Apr 21, 2020 21:31:41 GMT
I think i just received a scam phone call, it said i'd either won £250 in cash, or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night..... i need to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
|
|
|
|
Jokes
Apr 23, 2020 19:23:01 GMT
Post by mariopepper on Apr 23, 2020 19:23:01 GMT
ok then
Why don't some sea lions like to eat penguins?
BECAUSE they don' t have fingers to unwrap the silver paper getting stuck in their teeth
|
|
|
|
Post by bernythedolt on Apr 25, 2020 3:20:56 GMT
To lose weight, my missus has decided to walk 3 miles every day.
Good... by the end of the week the fat cow will be 21 miles away.
|
|
|
|
Jokes
Apr 25, 2020 3:23:36 GMT
Ace likes this
Post by bernythedolt on Apr 25, 2020 3:23:36 GMT
I haven't spoken to my wife for 6 weeks...
I don't like to interrupt her.
|
|
|
|
Post by martin44 on Apr 26, 2020 19:59:10 GMT
I was frightened to death this afternoon while taking my daily covid walk, a tractor came past me at 30mph with a bloke shouting "THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH"....
i think it was farmer geddon.
|
|
|
|
Post by martin44 on Apr 26, 2020 20:14:21 GMT
My young son came home from school today and said "Dad, i need to learn the difference between theory and reality"
Ho heck son , i said, i tell you what, go and ask your mum if she will sleep with the milkman for a million pounds.
son returned and said she would.
So i said, in that case, go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for a million pounds.
son returned and said she also would.
So i told my son "Well there you go, that's the difference between theory and reality..................... In theory...... we're sitting on 2 million quid............................ In reality.................. we're living with 2 slappers.
|
|
).
