ribs
Probably not James Marshall
Posts: 148
Likes: 151
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Post by ribs on Feb 13, 2018 20:35:50 GMT
I'm too old and rich fat to keep manually checking your website for loan opportunities.
Even when I see them I just go right on ahead and jab my fat fingers at the screen indiscriminately until I have enough grease marks on the glass that form something resembling a successful investment. I didn't get this fat by doing things like "due diligence" and thinking about where my money is going. What do you think I am? A sophisticated investor?
Pretty please enable me to flip a switch so my automated transfer from my bank is automatically loaned out to others so that my screen remains a little cleaner and my doughnut consumption can continue unabated.
Lots of love, Hugs and kisses, xoxo Ribs.
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Post by investorman on Feb 13, 2018 20:56:32 GMT
Being able to invest monthly by direct debit would be handy.
Given that new loans are few and far between, I dont think auto-invest would really be great, as you would be mainly buying on the SM at a premium.
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Post by GSV3MIaC on Feb 14, 2018 10:22:48 GMT
It should buy at whatever rate(s) you tell it to. Whether that includes 'at a premium' is a user decision (see also AC).
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Post by ablrate on Feb 14, 2018 18:28:10 GMT
Dear Ribs We do not discriminate between fat,slim,rich or poor here at Ablrate. Channelling our inner socialist is what we are aiming to do by making everyone totally equal. I am extremely concerned that you have to put any effort in and will aim to chat with the developers before we cause any further harm. Sadly I am skiing, which probably will not go down well with some of our comrades here. I will do my best to get rid of such bourgeois pursuits upon my return to the office on Monday and immediately declare all such holidaymakers enemies of the state.. In the meantime I can say that we have developed an auto trading facility which we may be launching soon. However, we wanted it to be both a buyer and a seller, but the complexity of the sell side will probably have to wait. We are also working on some new portfolio loans... so please see the elliotm thread for the imminent backlash of outrage that we have to make money (another bourgeois pursuit sorry) In all seriousness it is something we have almost ready for a while, but havent decided to do it yet... as it needs a few tweaks... perhaps a thread could be started here with what you would want on it? ..and we love you really elliotm... responses to your questions very soon (they are with the borrower and their investors).
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ribs
Probably not James Marshall
Posts: 148
Likes: 151
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Post by ribs on Feb 14, 2018 19:50:56 GMT
Dear Albrate,
I was so excited to read your response I had to remove that weird orange dust off my fingers from eating my Tesco Cheesy Puffs (Maybe I could afford proper WhatIts if I had auto-lending as an option, hint hint) and login immediately to respond.
If we could switch that bad boy from 'nearly done for ages' to 'it's on', that would be most spiffing. It is genuinely a feature I look for in a platform and a big reason I even bothered to sign up was that the feature was 'coming soon' so I figured I'd stick it for the time being until it was enabled. I hate logging into platforms to try and figure out where to allocate my £25 lottery winnings when I know damn well I'm not intelligent enough to make an informed decision and I just shove it anywhere anyway after I stare at the details of the loan and cry a little trying to figure out where it all went wrong and why I'm pretending I have all this money to invest on a very lonely Friday night (Sarah, if you're reading this, please come home, I can change). May as well let the computer do it, 'cos at least then the computer won't leave me for "I have a full time job and dependable income" Jim at work. Screw you Jim, I will finish this novel and then we'll see who earns "over 10k" a year!
Make no mistake; I'm a lazy bastard, but I'm not lazy enough to stop using a platform that doesn't have the features I desire, even if it has a nice portfolio and good returns. I even had to pick up the phone and call a platform and speak to someone the other day to get something sorted out. When literally fifty quid is on the line, you'd be amazed as how quickly I can move, and yeah, this is how serious I am. And don't worry everyone else; I know I'm a big time investor in these parts, thankfully I don't snap up all the offers before they are fully funded, may as well leave some scraps for the rest of you plebs. No need to thank me, it's what I do.
Unless you're Jim, of course. You get nothing.
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gibmike
Member of DD Central
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
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Post by gibmike on Feb 14, 2018 20:23:16 GMT
I am far fatter and older than ribs, he is a model of human perfection compared to me. Just by having a username of "Ribs" indicates to me that he can see them in the mirror. I have not seen mine since 1992 when I accidentally joined a gym and lost 20kg. Never again. Keep up the good work ablrate, my only comment would be to allow me to add my "remaining" balance to a loan. I had £36.59 in my account unaccounted for. It took me 17 attempts to invest it in the secondary market: £36.50 - too high £36.00 - too low ......15 tries later: tadaaaa! £36.22 it was!
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Post by westcountry on Feb 14, 2018 21:30:51 GMT
I am far fatter and older than ribs , he is a model of human perfection compared to me. Just by having a username of "Ribs" indicates to me that he can see them in the mirror. I have not seen mine since 1992 when I accidentally joined a gym and lost 20kg. Never again. Keep up the good work ablrate, my only comment would be to allow me to add my "remaining" balance to a loan. I had £36.59 in my account unaccounted for. It took me 17 attempts to invest it in the secondary market: £36.50 - too high £36.00 - too low ......15 tries later: tadaaaa! £36.22 it was! Spot on, the same thing happens to me as well! ablrate, please could you make it on the secondary market that when you put a figure in the Buy box, that figure can be the amount you have to invest (like gibmike's £36.59) and the system/website calculates how much capital you can buy with that, taking account of premium/discount and accrued interest? Instead of the system quoting you for how much it would cost to buy £36.59 of that loan, which almost certainly will not be £36.59, so you have to keep trying different amounts until you find out how much of the loan you can buy with your £36.59 (£36.22 in gibmike's case above). That would make the secondary market much Much easier to use!
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macq
Member of DD Central
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Post by macq on Feb 14, 2018 23:09:40 GMT
Ribs - i am now hooked and need to know how the story ends so good luck with the novel but guessing it is more Bridget Jones Diary then the Wolf Of Wall St
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blender
Member of DD Central
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Post by blender on Feb 14, 2018 23:38:35 GMT
I am far fatter and older than ribs , he is a model of human perfection compared to me. Just by having a username of "Ribs" indicates to me that he can see them in the mirror. I have not seen mine since 1992 when I accidentally joined a gym and lost 20kg. Never again. Keep up the good work ablrate, my only comment would be to allow me to add my "remaining" balance to a loan. I had £36.59 in my account unaccounted for. It took me 17 attempts to invest it in the secondary market: £36.50 - too high £36.00 - too low ......15 tries later: tadaaaa! £36.22 it was! Spot on, the same thing happens to me as well! ablrate , please could you make it on the secondary market that when you put a figure in the Buy box, that figure can be the amount you have to invest (like gibmike's £36.59) and the system/website calculates how much capital you can buy with that, taking account of premium/discount and accrued interest? Instead of the system quoting you for how much it would cost to buy £36.59 of that loan, which almost certainly will not be £36.59, so you have to keep trying different amounts until you find out how much of the loan you can buy with your £36.59 (£36.22 in gibmike's case above). That would make the secondary market much Much easier to use! That is true if you are buying and have a set amount of cash, say a repayment, to spend on SM goodies. However, if you are making a new offer to be listed it needs to be the amount of principal, because it is principal you have to offer, not an amount of cash. Also, if you are buying or selling on the SM, quite often it is a particular offer or bid that you wish to match exactly, and having to guess the amount of cash required to buy or sell would not be good. Basically the principal, the debt, is the 'good' that is being traded and premium/discount and interest determines the price. I think it is right to quantify the goods that are being traded, but there would be nothing to stop there being a way of doing the calculation both ways round when setting up a buy or purchase, only, on the SM - start with principal to be purchased in one box or cash to be paid in another. That's just a little calculation which could be added on without rewriting the whole SM.
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dawn
Member of DD Central
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Post by dawn on Feb 15, 2018 7:55:14 GMT
I am far fatter and older than ribs , he is a model of human perfection compared to me. Just by having a username of "Ribs" indicates to me that he can see them in the mirror. I have not seen mine since 1992 when I accidentally joined a gym and lost 20kg. Never again. Keep up the good work ablrate, my only comment would be to allow me to add my "remaining" balance to a loan. I had £36.59 in my account unaccounted for. It took me 17 attempts to invest it in the secondary market: £36.50 - too high £36.00 - too low ......15 tries later: tadaaaa! £36.22 it was! Here is a rather adventurous suggestion (and probably going too far) - but could the system tell you that you have £36.22 when you have £36.22 rather than some other random amount due to rounding "errors". If the underlying system knows you have £36.22 then surely there must be a way of it telling you. However I appreciate that would spoil the computers fun of playing guess the amount with investors.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2018 8:15:37 GMT
Just to sit on the other side of the fence, (leavers himself over and lands on his ar&e). I find abl secondary investment really easy, I've only been on the site for about a year but all the software works easily and I really like the ease of investment and the lack of opportunity makes me feel comfortable that DD is being done. Hug to Jim.
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Post by ablrate on Feb 15, 2018 12:39:25 GMT
I am far fatter and older than ribs , he is a model of human perfection compared to me. Just by having a username of "Ribs" indicates to me that he can see them in the mirror. I have not seen mine since 1992 when I accidentally joined a gym and lost 20kg. Never again. Keep up the good work ablrate, my only comment would be to allow me to add my "remaining" balance to a loan. I had £36.59 in my account unaccounted for. It took me 17 attempts to invest it in the secondary market: £36.50 - too high £36.00 - too low ......15 tries later: tadaaaa! £36.22 it was! Here is a rather adventurous suggestion (and probably going too far) - but could the system tell you that you have £36.22 when you have £36.22 rather than some other random amount due to rounding "errors". If the underlying system knows you have £36.22 then surely there must be a way of it telling you. However I appreciate that would spoil the computers fun of playing guess the amount with investors. We could tell you that you have 32.218686 or (as some do) take everything after the decimal place... which would you prefer?
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SteveT
Member of DD Central
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Post by SteveT on Feb 15, 2018 12:45:34 GMT
Here is a rather adventurous suggestion (and probably going too far) - but could the system tell you that you have £36.22 when you have £36.22 rather than some other random amount due to rounding "errors". If the underlying system knows you have £36.22 then surely there must be a way of it telling you. However I appreciate that would spoil the computers fun of playing guess the amount with investors. We could tell you that you have 32.218686 or (as some do) take everything after the decimal place... which would you prefer? The AC approach is quite neat. They display loan / cash value figures truncated to whole pence, but show the hidden decimals when you hover your cursor over the number in question.
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Post by GSV3MIaC on Feb 15, 2018 17:04:03 GMT
afaiac @ablerate can take all the femtopence .. indeed even the decipence .. and give us back the 4% interest that is going missing on the M** loans as they turn into portfolios. 8>.
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ribs
Probably not James Marshall
Posts: 148
Likes: 151
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Post by ribs on Feb 15, 2018 18:14:08 GMT
Ribs - i am now hooked and need to know how the story ends so good luck with the novel but guessing it is more Bridget Jones Diary then the Wolf Of Wall St I don't care how obscenely off topic this is, you got it! Here is a preview of chapter 1:
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