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Post by captainconfident on Nov 27, 2015 13:00:41 GMT
Looking at the products of the distillery on TC reminds me of my previous career in the alcohol industry. Some terms employed on the spirits and beer bottle labels have specific meanings in my opinion (although i am sure not in the case of the distillery in question):-
PREMIUM = overpriced
SUPER PREMIUM = overpriced and then we picked a random number and added that too.
COMPLEX (flavour) = not complex. It sounds good, but doesn't commit us to any definable qualities. Even if its actually mild cardboard tasting, if you dont find it "complex" then you are an ignoramous.
AWARD WINNING = we paid to enter a competition in which the competition organisers deliberately created so many categories that there were generally only two or three products in each category, so each one gets at least a gold, silver or bronze medal.
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SteveT
Member of DD Central
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Post by SteveT on Nov 27, 2015 14:11:40 GMT
UNIQUE = different in an almost indiscernible and wholly irrelevant respect from the bog-standard product everyone else sells
LIMITED EDITION = fundamentally the same product but we tweaked the Pantone reference, added a useless accessory and stuck another 20% on the price (and 50% on the margin)
EXCLUSIVE = as per LIMITED EDITION but we panicked and jobbed off the whole lot to a single retailer, giving up all our extra margin (and then some) in the process.
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Steerpike
Member of DD Central
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Post by Steerpike on Nov 27, 2015 14:23:01 GMT
UNRIVALLED - Can't think of anything special or different about this product
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Post by tybalt on Nov 27, 2015 14:51:24 GMT
Adult = Puerile Executive = Blue Collar with toys
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Post by yorkshireman on Nov 27, 2015 15:04:59 GMT
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Post by captainconfident on Nov 27, 2015 15:59:04 GMT
Still in beer and spirits world,
CLEAN TASTING = no flavour whatsoever
TRIPLE DISTILLED = basis distillate was so unpleasant tasting that we had to run it through a couple more times
SERVE ICE COLD = flavour is revolting at room temperature
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JamesFrance
Member of DD Central
Port Grimaud 1974
Posts: 1,317
Likes: 893
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Post by JamesFrance on Nov 27, 2015 16:36:40 GMT
I always wondered what Bondora meant by Investor? Get premium risk-adjusted returns! Now all is clear.  |
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Post by jevans4949 on Nov 30, 2015 13:55:47 GMT
Always wondered about launching a painkiller with the brand name "Nothing". I could then free-ride on all the competition's advertising.
"Nothing acts faster than ..."
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Post by GSV3MIaC on Nov 30, 2015 14:11:44 GMT
UNRIVALLED - Can't think of anything special or different about this product Alternatively: 'No competitor was stupid enough to market anything even vaguely like this'. From the estate agent world (another fertile hunting ground) .. 'Sought after' .. at the far end of nowhere, if you can actually find it, please put our board up for us. 'Period features' .. cobwebs which have been carbon dated back to tudor times / 5 amp three pin sockets abound / Actual gas lamps. 'Compact' .. not enough room to swing a mouse, never mind a cat. 'With Potential' .. needs a big hammer .. possible a wrecking ball. Plan to live in a caravan for a while. 'Interesting' .. rendered Kevin McCloud speechless. No, OK, that is stretching it a bit.
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JamesFrance
Member of DD Central
Port Grimaud 1974
Posts: 1,317
Likes: 893
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Post by JamesFrance on Nov 30, 2015 14:24:37 GMT
I remember advertising hoardings in Ireland years ago which said
"Guinness is good for you but Murphy's is better"
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Steerpike
Member of DD Central
Posts: 1,962
Likes: 1,680
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Post by Steerpike on Nov 30, 2015 14:25:14 GMT
More estate agentese:
SURPRISINGLY SPACIOUS - crass DIY extension with no redeeming feature apart from extra square footage
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