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jonno Member of DD Central nil satis nisi optimum Posts: 2,808 Likes: 3,242	Jokes Feb 6, 2015 10:49:49 GMT oldnick likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by jonno on Feb 6, 2015 10:49:49 GMT A large dead fish, stuffed with cocaine was washed up on a beach this week. Local police suspect it's a drug haddock.

uncletone Emeritus staff Posts: 725 Likes: 376	Jokes Feb 6, 2015 11:45:19 GMT oldnick likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by uncletone on Feb 6, 2015 11:45:19 GMT Spaeking of which, my wife always brings a fish to bed. She keeps saying "Not tonight dear - I've got a haddock."

oldnick Posts: 1,611 Likes: 703	Jokes Feb 6, 2015 19:33:23 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by oldnick on Feb 6, 2015 19:33:23 GMT Feb 6, 2015 11:45:19 GMT uncletone said: Spaeking of which, my wife always brings a fish to bed. She keeps saying "Not tonight dear - I've got a haddock." What is this spaek you speak of?

uncletone Emeritus staff Posts: 725 Likes: 376	Jokes Feb 6, 2015 19:48:04 GMT elljay and oldnick like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by uncletone on Feb 6, 2015 19:48:04 GMT One occasionally slips into versions of Middle English seldom used nowadays, as an interesting counterpoint to modern language. It was most certianly not a topy.

p2perrr Posts: 76 Likes: 58	Jokes Feb 7, 2015 10:13:08 GMT oldnick likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by p2perrr on Feb 7, 2015 10:13:08 GMT Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit on a bank and drink beer all day.

jonno Member of DD Central nil satis nisi optimum Posts: 2,808 Likes: 3,242	Jokes Feb 8, 2015 12:32:28 GMT oldnick and sqh like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by jonno on Feb 8, 2015 12:32:28 GMT What do you call a woman sinking the "8" ball, whilst balancing 3 pints of lager on her head? "Beer Tricks Potter"

jonno Member of DD Central nil satis nisi optimum Posts: 2,808 Likes: 3,242	Jokes Feb 11, 2015 10:02:40 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by jonno on Feb 11, 2015 10:02:40 GMT Apparently, during the war, our local Civil Defence banned the playing of board games during the "black-out". My parents defied this and were later arrested for being Yahtzee sympathisers.

GSV3MIaC Moderator Posts: 5,699 Likes: 3,337	Jokes Feb 11, 2015 18:17:32 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by GSV3MIaC on Feb 11, 2015 18:17:32 GMT Our local Nunnery is up in arms .. apparently one of the sisters was expelled from the town centre laundromat for having 'dirty habits'.
	General Systems Vehicle Three Minds in a Can .. bringing The Culture to a Supercluster near you. (Iain M. Banks, R.I.P.) NB 'Moderator' superpowers extend to forum mechanics and rules interpretation. Anything else mentioned is (at best) a personal opinion.

Steerpike Member of DD Central Posts: 1,977 Likes: 1,687	Jokes Feb 11, 2015 18:34:51 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Steerpike on Feb 11, 2015 18:34:51 GMT Our local convent has been experiencing frequent power cuts and the Mother Superior recently wrote an angry letter to the local electricity supplier demanding that they send a man because they were tired of using candles.
	Minor shareholder in Assetz Capital

pepperpot Posts: 959 Likes: 1,065	Jokes Feb 11, 2015 19:15:45 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by pepperpot on Feb 11, 2015 19:15:45 GMT I felt compelled to share... www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XFBUM8dMqw

GSV3MIaC Moderator Posts: 5,699 Likes: 3,337	Jokes Feb 11, 2015 20:53:33 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by GSV3MIaC on Feb 11, 2015 20:53:33 GMT How many psychiatrists / counsellors/ etc. does it take to change a light bulb? (Only one, but the light bulb has to really, really want to change).
	General Systems Vehicle Three Minds in a Can .. bringing The Culture to a Supercluster near you. (Iain M. Banks, R.I.P.) NB 'Moderator' superpowers extend to forum mechanics and rules interpretation. Anything else mentioned is (at best) a personal opinion.

j Member of DD Central Penguins are very misunderstood! Posts: 2,188 Likes: 540	Jokes Feb 12, 2015 21:51:46 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by j on Feb 12, 2015 21:51:46 GMT Feb 11, 2015 19:15:45 GMT pepperpot said: I felt compelled to share... www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XFBUM8dMqw Ohhhhh...shake it baby, shake it!
	All that glitters is not gold!

j Member of DD Central Penguins are very misunderstood! Posts: 2,188 Likes: 540	Jokes Feb 12, 2015 22:00:55 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by j on Feb 12, 2015 22:00:55 GMT Why don't Polar Bears eat Penguins? They can't get the wrappers off! Oh dear.....exit door please
	All that glitters is not gold!

j Member of DD Central Penguins are very misunderstood! Posts: 2,188 Likes: 540	Jokes Feb 12, 2015 22:06:29 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by j on Feb 12, 2015 22:06:29 GMT 'I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.' The woderful Spike Milligan
	All that glitters is not gold!

jonno Member of DD Central nil satis nisi optimum Posts: 2,808 Likes: 3,242	Jokes Feb 15, 2015 13:52:48 GMT oldnick and thebillet like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by jonno on Feb 15, 2015 13:52:48 GMT I used to let Marvin Gaye keep his sheep in my vineyard. He'd herd it through the grapevine