toffeeboy
Member of DD Central
Posts: 538 
Likes: 385
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Post by toffeeboy on Aug 22, 2023 16:52:53 GMT
Edinburgh Fringe funniest joke -I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah
I'm certain they use to be funnier in the past
Have to say I thought the joke that finished second was a lot better The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said “Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.” – Liz Guterbock The rest of the top ten were: 3. Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now – Amos Gill 4. When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast – Sikisa 5. I thought I’d start off with a joke about The Titanic – just to break the ice – Masai Graham 6. How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag – Frank Lavender 7. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic – Roger Swift 8. I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down – Bennett Arron 9. Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch – William Stone 10. My grandma describes herself as being in her “twilight years” which I love because they’re great films – Daniel Foxx
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,618
Likes: 6,432
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Post by registerme on Nov 22, 2023 13:24:02 GMT
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Dec 20, 2023 12:28:30 GMT
Insomnia is a terrible condition; still, only one more sleep till Christmas.  |
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Post by harryvederci on Jun 20, 2024 11:52:10 GMT
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,618
Likes: 6,432
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Post by registerme on Jul 2, 2024 9:22:34 GMT
"Nadine Dories, a woman so stupid she thinks Channel 4 is a perfume".
- Jonathan Pie
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,618
Likes: 6,432
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Post by registerme on Jul 20, 2024 7:58:16 GMT
Q - What did they give the person who invented "knock knock" jokes?
A - A No-Bell prize.
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Jul 20, 2024 11:44:55 GMT
My brother likes Terry's Chocolate Orange so much he's starting to believe he is one. I'm really worried he's going to get sectioned.  |
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Post by captainconfident on Jul 20, 2024 17:34:14 GMT
Lactosing the intolerant. Private Eye on throwing milkshakes at Farage.
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,618
Likes: 6,432
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Post by registerme on Aug 9, 2024 8:13:18 GMT
What do a Redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
Somebody is losing a trailer.
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Post by captainconfident on Sept 9, 2024 14:27:22 GMT
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agent69
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,030
Likes: 4,431
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Jokes
Nov 7, 2024 12:00:47 GMT
Post by agent69 on Nov 7, 2024 12:00:47 GMT
Was watching Yes Prime Minister yesterday: Whats the difference between the UK and Middle Eastern countries?
- in the middle east you get stoned after you've committed adultery
- in UK you get stoned before you commit adultery
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benaj
Member of DD Central
N/A
Posts: 5,591
Likes: 1,735
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Jokes
Nov 7, 2024 13:49:27 GMT
Post by benaj on Nov 7, 2024 13:49:27 GMT
Was watching Yes Prime Minister yesterday: Whats the difference between the UK and Middle Eastern countries? - in the middle east you get stoned after you've committed adultery
- in UK you get stoned before you commit adultery
What about the "Promised Land" in the Middle East with nuclear super power? Pretty sure not every women get stoned when they make up their own mind and choose who to have fun with when they are not caught in the act. I managed to find a scripture translation for children related to the "law of jealousy"
IRL, the wife who has sexual relation with another without husband permission won't even turn up in front of the priest.
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Nov 9, 2024 11:03:39 GMT
Apparently, Twerking is what a Yorkshireman does to earn T'wages  |
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