j
Member of DD Central
Penguins are very misunderstood!
Posts: 2,188 
Likes: 540
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Jokes
Apr 7, 2015 21:17:33 GMT
Post by j on Apr 7, 2015 21:17:33 GMT
Iva really sore hand from all this knocking  |
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,242
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Post by jonno on Apr 8, 2015 11:55:31 GMT
I was driving down the road the other day, and my boss rang and said "you've been promoted".
I was so shocked I swerved across the road.
Later on he rang again and said "you've been promoted again".
Again, I swerved the car even more.
He then rang and said "you've been made managing director"
Well this time I swerved right across the road and hit a tree.
When a policeman arrived he said "What happened?".
"I just careered across the road" I replied.
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Post by oldnick on Apr 14, 2015 15:26:06 GMT
A reworking of an old man joke-
The three ages of a p2x platform -
1. Tri-weekly updates.
2. Try weekly updates.
3. Try weakly.
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,242
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Post by jonno on Apr 15, 2015 10:24:40 GMT
I went to the doctors. I said "I'm afraid of lapels". He said "You've got Cholera".
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j
Member of DD Central
Penguins are very misunderstood!
Posts: 2,188
Likes: 540
|
Post by j on Apr 16, 2015 15:29:21 GMT
This is for Ton ⓉⓞⓃ & spockie What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? .... A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! |
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spockie
Member of DD Central
Posts: 299 
Likes: 84
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Jokes
Apr 16, 2015 15:31:26 GMT
Post by spockie on Apr 16, 2015 15:31:26 GMT
This is for Ton ⓉⓞⓃ & spockie What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? .... A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Is that from your cat-alogue of terrible puns?
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Jokes
Apr 16, 2015 16:52:28 GMT
Post by Ton ⓉⓞⓃ on Apr 16, 2015 16:52:28 GMT
This is for Ton ⓉⓞⓃ & spockie What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? .... A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Is this you? 
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Post by norfolkblue on Apr 17, 2015 19:51:31 GMT
I went to the butchers the other day, and he offered me 8 legs of Venison for £50. Do you think that's too dear?
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j
Member of DD Central
Penguins are very misunderstood!
Posts: 2,188
Likes: 540
|
Jokes
Apr 18, 2015 5:06:24 GMT
Post by j on Apr 18, 2015 5:06:24 GMT
This is for Ton ⓉⓞⓃ & spockie What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? .... A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Is that from your cat-alogue of terrible puns? My cousin,third removed (whatever that means!). I'm not that sadistic 
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,242
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Post by jonno on Apr 18, 2015 12:43:33 GMT
I logged on to "Conjunctivitis.com" this morning. Now there's a site for sore eyes.  |
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j
Member of DD Central
Penguins are very misunderstood!
Posts: 2,188
Likes: 540
|
Jokes
Apr 18, 2015 13:16:12 GMT
via mobile
Post by j on Apr 18, 2015 13:16:12 GMT
I logged on to "Conjunctivitis.com" this morning. Now there's a site for sore eyes. Try Some o****x infected eyes, you Can see clearly now the pain is gone!
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j
Member of DD Central
Penguins are very misunderstood!
Posts: 2,188
Likes: 540
|
Jokes
Apr 30, 2015 22:27:02 GMT
Post by j on Apr 30, 2015 22:27:02 GMT
Sometimes me sits & wonder, sometimes me just sits  |
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,242
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Post by jonno on May 1, 2015 8:52:42 GMT
I went to the doctors the other day. He said "To be honest, I think you've got Hypochondria". I said "Oh my God; not that as well".
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,242
|
Jokes
May 5, 2015 12:10:23 GMT
Post by jonno on May 5, 2015 12:10:23 GMT
I absolutely love doing magic tricks but I have to stop each one half way through; I'm a member of the Magic Semi-Circle.
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Jokes
May 5, 2015 12:26:33 GMT
via mobile
Post by oldnick on May 5, 2015 12:26:33 GMT
I absolutely love doing magic tricks but I have to stop each one half way through; I'm a member of the Magic Semi-Circle. I half smiled at that.
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