Jokes

.....And sometimes you waddle, wander and wobble

Three logicians walk into a bar. The barman says "Would you all like a drink?"
The first logician says, "I don't know".
The second logician says, "I don't know".
The third logician says, "Yes".

Rupert Murdoch is behind the times.

I haven't seen my dad since I was seven. He was a taxi driver, and left home without any indication whatsoever.

A real groaner....


A guy starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to
death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat
anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two
chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the
corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He
grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees

Hi, I'm an alcoholic beverage made from fermented malted barley flavoured with hops.

Sorry, that was just the beer talking.