Jokes

Ask her to clear the path.

I remember sitting in a psychology class learning about Pavlov,thinking "those stupid dogs".

Then the bell went and we all had lunch.

What is a wok?

A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

I've just read that a man killed in a motoring incident has been named by the police.    Maybe they'd solve more crimes if they spent less time doing baptisms.  

Five surgeons attending an RCS conference started discussing patients during a break in proceedings.

The first, a Manchester surgeon, says "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second, a Liverpool surgeon, responds "Yeah, but you should try electricians! everything inside them is colour coded "

The third, a Newcastle surgeon, says " No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order "

The fourth, a Birmingham surgeon, chimes in " You know, I like construction workers.... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over "

But the fifth, a Yorkshire surgeon, shuts them all up when he observed: " You are all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and the head and the ar*e are interchangeable.”

A bunch of nuns are redecorating their chapel, in the heat of summer and getting really hot and sweaty, so the Mother Superior says they can all strip off, after she locks the door. Half an hour later there is a knock, so she says 'Who's there?' The reply to which, heard rather quietly through the 200 year old solid oak door is 'I'm the blind man'.  "Oh well, that's OK then' she says, and opens the door to let him in.
"Hey, nice tits Sister! Now where do you want these blinds?"