jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808 
Likes: 3,240
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Post by jonno on Aug 14, 2017 12:17:17 GMT
A lot of people say I'm an egocentric............but enough about them. 
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markr
Member of DD Central
Posts: 766
Likes: 426
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Jokes
Aug 14, 2017 23:11:11 GMT
Post by markr on Aug 14, 2017 23:11:11 GMT
I said to my mate, "I can't remember the name of that movie company that has a picture of a mountain as its logo."
He said, "Is it paramount?"
I said, "Well, no, but it's really annoying me."
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,240
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Post by jonno on Aug 16, 2017 15:54:44 GMT
In a recent survey public support for Trump is slipping away, although he is holding steady at 96% from "angry mobs aged 18-35"
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,624
Likes: 6,437
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Post by registerme on Aug 22, 2017 14:46:01 GMT
A duck is standing by the roadside waiting to cross when a chicken rushes up to him and says "Stop, don't do it! You'll never hear the last of it!"
(I really, really wish I could take credit for this).
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2017 15:39:37 GMT
Bob had a massive collection of jokes, my favorite
"I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers."
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markr
Member of DD Central
Posts: 766
Likes: 426
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Post by markr on Aug 23, 2017 14:21:53 GMT
Bob had a massive collection of jokes, my favorite "I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers." Mine is "When I was young I used to scintillate, now I can only sin till half-past-3" (although it loses something when written down!)
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skippyonspeed
Some people think I'm a little bit crazy, but I know my mind's not hazy
Posts: 787
Likes: 424
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Jokes
Sept 3, 2017 9:51:48 GMT
Post by skippyonspeed on Sept 3, 2017 9:51:48 GMT
A friend of mine decided it was time to change his car......when he went to a dealer to trade in his old car he was told he had been sold a cut & shut.....to avoid being caught out again he bought a Smart car...........perhaps their next model should be called Smart Cut registerme, just made that one up, what do you think?! |
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Post by uncletone on Sept 5, 2017 10:47:26 GMT
A friend of mine decided it was time to change his car......when he went to a dealer to trade in his old car he was told he had been sold a cut & shut.....to avoid being caught out again he bought a Smart car...........perhaps their next model should be called Smart Cut registerme , just made that one up, what do you think?! As a clump of tumbleweed rolled slowly across the forum, in the distance an owl hooted....
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Jokes
Sept 5, 2017 15:05:42 GMT
Post by wildlife2 on Sept 5, 2017 15:05:42 GMT
Is tumbleweed smoked?
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,808
Likes: 3,240
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Post by jonno on Sept 5, 2017 15:54:10 GMT
Only by acrobats 
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Jokes
Sept 5, 2017 16:15:26 GMT
Post by martin44 on Sept 5, 2017 16:15:26 GMT
Not in it's natural state, but i'm sure it could be, maybe in an oak cask oven? personally i prefer it cooked as below "The wiry, tough, sharp, pin prickly and irritating Russian Thistle is edible. Its young shoots and tips can be eaten raw and are actually quite palatable. They are better when cooked like greens. Thanks to the San Bernadino County Sentinel.  
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registerme
Member of DD Central
Posts: 6,624
Likes: 6,437
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Post by registerme on Sept 9, 2017 11:03:43 GMT
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ilmoro
Member of DD Central
'Wondering which of the bu***rs to blame, and watching for pigs on the wing.' - Pink Floyd
Posts: 11,329
Likes: 11,549
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Post by ilmoro on Sept 9, 2017 11:53:30 GMT
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2017 0:12:10 GMT
Post by jevans4949 on Sept 17, 2017 0:12:10 GMT
What is Kim Jong-Un's favourite supper?
?
Fisson chips.
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Post by p2perrr on Sept 26, 2017 9:37:31 GMT
Dictionary definition
Archive: where Noah kept his bees.
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