agent69
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Jokes
Jul 23, 2021 15:45:50 GMT
Post by agent69 on Jul 23, 2021 15:45:50 GMT
That's odd; I thought it was the list of Italian war heroes. OK I know this is the jokes page, but that's a bit harsh to the Italians. They were brave enough in WW1, the reason they were rubbish in WW2 is they knew they were on the wrong side. As Captain Bertorelli would confirm
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james100
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Post by james100 on Jul 23, 2021 16:31:28 GMT
That's odd; I thought it was the list of Italian war heroes. I guess this could make a whole new thread.
I went to Aus many years ago on an organised cricket tour. In one of the social events there was a poll asking where you were least likely to see an Australian. Top of the list was (apologies to ozboy ) a meeting of Mensa Funny. Not quite as funny as an Australian member of Mensa responding to this (hello!), but still pretty good.
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jonno
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nil satis nisi optimum
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Jokes
Jul 24, 2021 8:30:25 GMT
Post by jonno on Jul 24, 2021 8:30:25 GMT
OK I know this is the jokes page, but that's a bit harsh to the Italians. They were brave enough in WW1, the reason they were rubbish in WW2 is they knew they were on the wrong side. As Captain Bertorelli would confirm Yeah; and he was pretty good on the mandolin as well 
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Post by bernythedolt on Jul 26, 2021 18:58:57 GMT
I guess this could make a whole new thread. I went to Aus many years ago on an organised cricket tour. In one of the social events there was a poll asking where you were least likely to see an Australian. Top of the list was (apologies to ozboy ) a meeting of Mensa Funny. Not quite as funny as an Australian member of Mensa responding to this (hello!), but still pretty good. Wow, that takes me right back. Must be nearly 40 years ago that Mrs Dolt & I sat the Mensa invigilated test at their office in Oxford. Despite all the evidence on this forum to the contrary, I somehow managed to be accredited with an IQ of 155. Unfortunately, to this day Mrs Dolt has never let me forget that she beat me by 3 points... 
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registerme
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Post by registerme on Jul 29, 2021 21:50:48 GMT
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Jul 30, 2021 8:34:05 GMT
I see that an American pole vaulter has tested positive, and appears unhappy that he has to do 14 days in isolation (the sme as everyone else). This reminded me of a joke regarding a sports reporter and a competitor at a sports event many years ago:
Reporter: excuse me sir, are you a pole vaulter?
Athlete: no I'm German, and how did you know my name was Walter
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Sept 2, 2021 18:08:53 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but this always makes me titter.
On the Worldometer site there is an advert at the top of the page for an ad blocker.
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keitha
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2024, hopefully the year I get out of P2P
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Post by keitha on Sept 3, 2021 13:14:15 GMT
on the shortest books topic
Joe Biden's great decisions
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jonno
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nil satis nisi optimum
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Post by jonno on Sept 3, 2021 13:37:31 GMT
Apparently, Marvin Gaye should now be referred to as Marvin LGBTQ+
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Sept 4, 2021 16:11:41 GMT
Just watching an old episode of Only Fools and Horses.
Del is off to Waterloo station to meet Raquel for the first time with a big bouquet of flowers. While looking around he mistakenly approaches a lady of the night, who is plying her trade. When Del realises his mistake he tries to get away, but the woman is persistent. Del says I'm begining to lose my rag with you. I'm gona count to ten and then I'm gonna shove these flowers right up your (expletive drowned out by sound of departing train). She looks at him and smiles and says you realise that will be extra.
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registerme
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Post by registerme on Sept 16, 2021 23:43:14 GMT
 (I don't think it was a joke, but it made me laugh)
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Sept 17, 2021 16:48:58 GMT
Not a joke, but another thing that made me titter.
I have a landscaped area in my garden, which is covered with 25mm Scottish pebbles that I purchased from the local garden centre. I wanted a few more, but the garden centre was out of stock so I bought a 25kg bag from Amazon (about half the price of the gerden center, including delivery). When they arrived the 25kg plastic bag was packed in a cardboard box wrapped in sticky tape that said 'fragile'
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agent69
Member of DD Central
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Post by agent69 on Sept 17, 2021 16:51:41 GMT
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2021 18:01:40 GMT
Post by bracknellboy on Sept 17, 2021 18:01:40 GMT
(I don't think it was a joke, but it made me laugh) As a kid (and frankly still today to a degree) I was an avid fan of all things to do with military aircraft, including and especially WWII. 'Reach for the Sky' was just one of the books I eagerly devoured at a young age, and I fell for all the heroic tales of good old DB. It was only a bit later in life that I understood that the real world was somewhat more nuanced, and that DB was not necessarily a particularly liked individual; and that sadly his oversized ego coupled with his ability to get his way thanks to his celebrity status, was, on the whole, possibly a negative contribution to the effectiveness of the RAF during the Battle of Britain.
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Post by captainconfident on Sept 17, 2021 18:37:27 GMT
Man goes into confessional box in church
"Father, I've been faithful to my wife for 50 years, but last week I had it off with an 18 year old".
"How long is it since your last confession?"
"Well, never. I'm Jewish".
"So what are you in here telling me for?"
"Well Father, quite frankly I'm telling everyone I possibly can!"
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