agent69
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Oct 3, 2021 15:42:48 GMT
Post by agent69 on Oct 3, 2021 15:42:48 GMT
Can't help watching old episodes of Only Fools and Horses.
I think this was the last ever episode, where Del and Rodney are in Sid's cafe with Denzil (who they think has a serious medical condition). As it turns out Denzil is suffering from piles, but when Rodney suggests that it is just a case of hemorrhoids Denzil says 'hemerrhoids, they're more like asteroids'
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agent69
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Oct 6, 2021 20:24:35 GMT
Post by agent69 on Oct 6, 2021 20:24:35 GMT
Another amusing story, rather than a joke.
A Brazillian footballer has been charged with attempted murder after attacking a referee who penalised him for foul play. His club said the incident was 'one of the worst' in it's history'
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keitha
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Oct 6, 2021 20:34:27 GMT
Post by keitha on Oct 6, 2021 20:34:27 GMT
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Jokes
Oct 20, 2021 10:51:51 GMT
Post by bernythedolt on Oct 20, 2021 10:51:51 GMT
Someone sent me this little video recently....
Husband: What's for dinner tonight?
Wife: Nothing.
Husband: But we had nothing for dinner last night!!
Wife: Yeah.....I made enough for two days.
Tickled me, anyway 😁
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keitha
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Post by keitha on Oct 24, 2021 15:33:00 GMT
The Nativity Scene has been cancelled in Cardiff by the Welsh Government
Couldn't find 3 Wise Men
No Chance of Finding a Virgin
Plenty Of Asses to fill several stables though
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Oct 24, 2021 17:15:03 GMT
The Nativity Scene has been cancelled in Cardiff by the Welsh Government
Couldn't find 3 Wise Men
No Chance of Finding a Virgin
Plenty Of Asses to fill several stables though
I worked in South Wales a while ago and use to listen to Valleys radio.
First prize in their phone in competition was a family ticket to Alton Towers (one adult and three children)
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Oct 25, 2021 16:55:56 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but was watching the Scotland - Affghanistan cricket earlier today. Suprised to see that the No 5 batsman for the Afghans was called ..... Afghan.
Can you imagine the No 5 batsman in the Aussie line up being called tosser (apologies to ozboy)
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keitha
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Oct 25, 2021 17:54:19 GMT
Post by keitha on Oct 25, 2021 17:54:19 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but was watching the Scotland - Affghanistan cricket earlier today. Suprised to see that the No 5 batsman for the Afghans was called ..... Afghan.
Can you imagine the No 5 batsman in the Aussie line up being called tosser (apologies to ozboy ) I can vividly remember the famous Brian Johnstone quote
"The Bowlers holding the batsmans Willey"
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Greenwood2
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Post by Greenwood2 on Oct 25, 2021 17:56:16 GMT
Randy Baumgardner, or Bumgardener. Difficult to keep a straight face as the name of a US official, a while ago now but something reminded me. He also was apparently accused of slapping someone's butt!
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Greenwood2
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Oct 25, 2021 17:57:40 GMT
Post by Greenwood2 on Oct 25, 2021 17:57:40 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but was watching the Scotland - Affghanistan cricket earlier today. Suprised to see that the No 5 batsman for the Afghans was called ..... Afghan.
Can you imagine the No 5 batsman in the Aussie line up being called tosser (apologies to ozboy ) I can vividly remember the famous Brian Johnstone quote
"The Bowlers holding the batsmans Willey"
There was also someone spreading their legs and showing their class.
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registerme
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Post by registerme on Oct 25, 2021 18:14:32 GMT
Right, you lot. Settle down.
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Oct 25, 2021 18:20:49 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but was watching the Scotland - Affghanistan cricket earlier today. Suprised to see that the No 5 batsman for the Afghans was called ..... Afghan.
Can you imagine the No 5 batsman in the Aussie line up being called tosser (apologies to ozboy ) I can vividly remember the famous Brian Johnstone quote
"The Bowlers holding the batsmans Willey"
Think you have a comma (and a capital H) missing.
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agent69
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Oct 25, 2021 18:41:27 GMT
Post by agent69 on Oct 25, 2021 18:41:27 GMT
Randy Baumgardner, or Bumgardener. Difficult to keep a straight face as the name of a US official, a while ago now but something reminded me. He also was apparently accused of slapping someone's butt! I've always thought names count for something. For example Englands cricket team play at Lords or the Oval, India play at the Wankhede stadium (no wonder they win).
On a similar note, would Silvio Berlusconi have become Prime Minister of Italy in 1994 if his campaign manager wasn't called Bob Lasagna.
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Post by overthehill on Oct 25, 2021 18:44:23 GMT
Not exactly a joke, but was watching the Scotland - Affghanistan cricket earlier today. Suprised to see that the No 5 batsman for the Afghans was called ..... Afghan.
Can you imagine the No 5 batsman in the Aussie line up being called tosser (apologies to ozboy ) I can vividly remember the famous Brian Johnstone quote
"The Bowlers holding the batsmans Willey"
Even funnier when the capitals are in the right place!
Streakers used to be common place and I remember one where he didn't quite manage to jump over the wickets cleanly. I'm sure richie benaud make some classic quip like the bails are off.
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keitha
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Post by keitha on Oct 25, 2021 22:09:28 GMT
Knowledge :- A tomato is a fruit Wisdom :- Not putting tomato in fruit salad Philospophy :- is Ketchup a smoothie
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