jonno
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nil satis nisi optimum
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Post by jonno on May 21, 2023 9:38:33 GMT
How do you know when a girl from Essex has an orgasm?................ She drops her chips  |
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bernythedolt
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Post by bernythedolt on Jun 2, 2023 19:47:28 GMT
A Yorkshireman, recently widowed, goes to order a headstone for his wife's grave.
"Would you like an inscription?", asks the stonemason.
"Yes, I'd like it to read, "She was thine" ", says the Yorkshireman.
A couple of weeks later, he visits the grave to see the new headstone and reads the inscription. There it stood bold as brass: "She was thin".
Pretty annoyed, he goes back to the stonemason. "You've missed off the "e" ", he exclaims with some indignance.
The stonemason is most apologetic and promises to rectify the matter.
Two weeks later, the Yorkshireman goes back to the cemetery to check. The inscription now read, "Ee, she was thin".
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registerme
Member of DD Central
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Post by registerme on Jun 13, 2023 11:39:50 GMT
Why did the gym close?
It just didn't work out.
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Jun 13, 2023 15:33:38 GMT
How do you kill off a circus? Go straight for the juggler  |
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Jun 16, 2023 13:39:13 GMT
Flew into JLA in the early hours this morning. I hadn't realised it but I think the captain was Chinese; as we were coming in to land he said "I'm not going to turn all the cabin lights out, but I am going to have to Dim Sum".  |
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Jun 27, 2023 10:21:07 GMT
Woman accuses her husband of having an affair with somebody in the office. 'It's the comptometer operator isn't it, it all adds up now'
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2023 20:02:44 GMT
Post by martin44 on Jun 29, 2023 20:02:44 GMT
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2023 20:09:25 GMT
Post by martin44 on Jun 29, 2023 20:09:25 GMT
Flew into JLA in the early hours this morning. I hadn't realised it but I think the captain was Chinese; as we were coming in to land he said "I'm not going to turn all the cabin lights out, but I am going to have to Dim Sum". Quality 
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jonno
Member of DD Central
nil satis nisi optimum
Posts: 2,806
Likes: 3,237
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Post by jonno on Jul 1, 2023 12:06:13 GMT
People are more aware of mental health nowadays. Did you know that at some point more than 3 out of 2 people will suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder?  |
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keitha
Member of DD Central
2024, hopefully the year I get out of P2P
Posts: 4,582
Likes: 2,615
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Post by keitha on Aug 18, 2023 16:57:51 GMT
Parker, take off my hat
Yes Milady
Parker take off my gloves
Yes Milady
Parker take off my dress
Yes Milady
Parker take off my stockings
Yes Milady
Parker take off my brassiere
Yes Milady
Parker take off my panties
Yes Milady
Parker don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again
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registerme
Member of DD Central
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Post by registerme on Aug 18, 2023 18:05:08 GMT
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having twelve close friends in his thirties.
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benaj
Member of DD Central
N/A
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Jokes
Aug 18, 2023 18:22:21 GMT
via mobile
Post by benaj on Aug 18, 2023 18:22:21 GMT
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having twelve close friends in his thirties. 🤔 May be close friends are not mentioned in the scripture. Surely according to John
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keitha
Member of DD Central
2024, hopefully the year I get out of P2P
Posts: 4,582
Likes: 2,615
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Jokes
Aug 21, 2023 11:29:06 GMT
Post by keitha on Aug 21, 2023 11:29:06 GMT
Man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor the last time I made love to my wife I was all hot and sweaty the previous time I was freezing cold.
the doctor examines the man and says I can't see anything physically wrong.
the man insists that there must be a problem
The doctor rings the patients wife to ask if she'd done any thing different
Your husband says the last time the 2 of you made love he was all hot and sweaty, the previous time he was freezing cold do you have any ideas why
the wife says yes the last time was in August the previous time was January
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agent69
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Post by agent69 on Aug 22, 2023 9:48:51 GMT
Edinburgh Fringe funniest joke -I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah
I'm certain they use to be funnier in the past
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dave4
Member of DD Central
Cynical is a hobby not a lifestyle
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Jokes
Aug 22, 2023 9:57:57 GMT
Post by dave4 on Aug 22, 2023 9:57:57 GMT
Edinburgh Fringe funniest joke -I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah
I'm certain they use to be funnier in the past
Radio 2 , bbc doing its best
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